Frieze week in Los Angeles just passed and along with the usual tales of exhaustion, hangovers, and general frustration with our sunny city’s vast and incomprehensible layout came excitement about one of the newer services in California: Waymo. Unavailable in Europe and New York, the self-driving Lexuses [correction] Jaguars with whirly-gigs on all sides have become a familiar sight on the West Coast and visitors were excited to try them.
Like all ZIRP phenomena that powered the ‘Millennial lifestyle subsidy’—as some like to call it—the old go-to’s for out-of-towners without drivers licenses, Uber and Lyft has declined in quality. The cars are dirtier, the drivers are ruder and the pricers are higher. Why not let a robo-taxi drive you to the Santa Monica Airport for the fair? Sex workers may be turning tricks in them, so the gossip goes. But it sure beats having a stoner careen down the 101 at ninety-miles-per-hour while their jalopy shakes and shudders beneath. (This once happened to me, but that’s a story for another time.)
And yet, despite some harrowing experiences on rideshare apps, I did not try the Waymo. Something turns in my gut when I imagine going for a spin in a driverless car.
Am I robophobic?
Yes. I think I am.
The same week, I saw a video of a robot glitching and attacking an old woman in China. It reminded of an animal mauling. The footage is grainy, voyeuristic, poorly framed. With surprising speed, a lion trots into the frame with a gait not dissimilar to a gigantic dog. It’s the speed and the ease of the animal that makes me shudder. The person is frail, defenseless, unaware. In a second, it’s over. Like sinkholes, escalator malfunctions, shark attacks, industrial accidents, car crashes. Your perception slows down. The earth opens up. You’re gone.
I doubt I am the only one who feels this way.
X engineer, Yacine posted yesterday: “prediction: household robots are going to be the size of dobby the elf/ (it needs to be small enough that you feel comfortable crushing it with your boots if it bugs out and starts attacking you)” I could not agree more.